I remember this like it was yesterday. I was 18, getting ready to graduate high school, and transition to a college 1000 miles away from home. Before I left, my grandmother and I had a chat, and the one thing she said that still echoes with me to this day is “Don’t get up there and become an educated fool. Remember where you came from and the people who helped you get there.” Then she slid me $300 and told me not to tell anyone. It was humbling to be embraced by her wisdom. It also caused me to set the bar even higher for myself. I knew I was exceptional growing up and what that meant. My best would never be good enough unless I was on top. Every accomplishment was met with doubt. My friends will tell you that I’m known for downplaying significant events in my life and not celebrate. I “sometimes” (read always) deny people the opportunity to celebrate me because I’ve been so programmed that my best is the norm and is to be expected at all times. Well, let me tell you how this played out last week.

This Friday will be my last day working at my current job. It was announced that I was leaving and I was more worried about the kids reactions than the adults. In all honesty, I didn’t  think people cared that much except for the ones I interact with frequently. The day it was announced, I wasn’t at work. I figured people would go on with their everyday lives, as change seems to be inevitable. Before I knew it, I was getting chats, texts, emails, and all kinds of correspondence with people expressing their sadness for my departure and in full transparency, it was fucking overwhelming. I didn’t realize how much of an impact I made on the lives of the people I work with. There are people that I rarely ever see, but they were coming up to me with well wishes and telling me how sad they were to see me go. I literally had to process that shit for a few days.

This taught me a super valuable lesson. I try everyday to bring my full authentic self to work; every fat, black, gay, cubic foot of me. I don’t always get it right, but I never stop trying. The jovial, happy-go-lucky, personable, medium ghetto man I am, gets to show up in all the ways I desire and for whatever reason, it resonated with some people. I thought I was fading into the background. I rarely take a moment to breathe or see what differences I could have possibly made. I took a few moments to sit and think about all the kind words and sentiments. It made my heart smile, and forced me to realize that regardless of if I think so or not, my presence is important to people, and as shocked as I am, it’s no longer something that I can take for granted.

I spent today planning next moves and reflecting on my time at my school. It’s difficult to say goodbye to a space that brought you together with people you never thought you’d get a chance to know. I’m a better person for loving on those kids, being vulnerable with adults, and staying true to myself. This weekend, I’ll pack up a truck and head into life’s next adventure. I spent the past 7.5 years making a name for myself in DC, now it’s time to see what I do with the gifts I’ve been given. I’ve made so many close friends and new family. I survived some tumultuous times and periods of growth. I couldn’t have done it without the love and support of those around me. I’d like to personally thank them for their genuine love and support.

Jon Jon and Wanda – Y’all made me a Penn when I felt like I didn’t have a family. Being so far away from home made it hard to stay connected but through it all you were right there. I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve been to me. I know this isn’t goodbye (Jon Jon I’ll see you next weekend) but I had to say thank you. I love you.

CAMMM – Chiquita, Aaron, Mitchell, Meaux. – Talent Always Wins. You’ve been a source of joy. Shoulders to lean on. Ride or Dies. And although we spread around this country, we’ll always find time and space to celebrate and love each other. I love you bitches. We outchea winning.

Demetra– Sis! I love you so much. We worked together for a year and I can’t imagine how life is going to be without being near you. You support my shenanigans. Encourage the foolishness. Twerk with me when I’m sad and make sure I always have what I need. I can’t imagine another you. I’m grateful that I got the original. I love you, sis!

Maya and Autumn – You made me feel things and kept me vulnerable and grounded. You encouraged me through difficulties, laughed in triumphs, read me for filth (and enjoyed when Mary did it), and loved on me like we’ve been friends since birth. My life is so much richer with you in it. We’ll stay accountable to each other and support each other. I love you Rodney and Blossom!

On to the next part of this journey. Still healing. Still Growing. All 2019. The best is yet to come. You ain’t seen nothing yet bitch.